I Have a Dream

I just returned from our church's annual retreat weekend. This weekend is one that my family values and appreciates. However, it is NOT a "retreat" of relaxation. I am exhausted from my head to my toes.
This year's theme was "I have a dream" as this was the anniversary weekend of Martin Luther King Jr.'s famous speech. Prior to the retreat, I was asked to share during a group session, my "Top 30 dreams." A "dream" was defined as either a nighttime dream, daydream or wish/hope for myself or others and each dream was to be less than 10 words long. I said "yes" I would share, so, I had to get up in front of my friends, acquaintances and others to share, out loud, my list. This, in itself, is a sort of "bad dream" to me, as it is hard for me to share personally without lots of emotion (tears). However, I did this, and decided I would also share this list here.


I have a dream that my children's dad will see them graduate from college,
that I will grow so many tomatoes I will have to beg others to take them,
that ice cream will be the new health food

At night I dream of houses with many unexplored rooms
of my mom
of my dad

I dream of what color to paint my bedroom
and my kitchen
and my living room

I dream of an entire day without tears, from anyone, anywhere

I dream of a world where mediation is chosen as the norm, not court

I dream of an entire day to myself
or an afternoon
or an hour
or five minutes

I dream of reading a really good book which is the first in a series

I dream of long hikes in the woods
of sitting on the beach reading a novel
of camping in the great outdoors

I dream of my kids doing their chores without being asked
and without complaining
and then asking what more they can do to help
(If you're going to dream, you might as well dream big!)

I dream of a cure for childhood cancer
and for brain tumors
and for pancreatic cancer
and for non-hodgkins lymphoma
and for prostate cancer
...the list goes on

and I dream of a world where anyone with any of these diseases has access to the same excellent health care that my family has received

So, most of all, I dream of hope.


Now that I am done with this "assignment," I find that I am constantly coming up with more "dreams" that I did not include. I invite you to take some time and do this excercise for yourself. If nothing else, it may help you decide what it is you prioritize and whether or not that is where you are truly expending your energy.

I'm Back (I think)

So, here I go (again!). It has been a long time since my last post. A VERY long time (8 months, actually). A lot has happened. Some I want to talk about and process, possibly through this blog. Some I do not. In a nutshell, three major life events have taken place including my loving husband going on disability due to his brain tumor, my father being diagnosed and dying of pancreatic cancer within four months time and my loving husband having a recurrence of his tumor, thus needing surgery and follow-up treatment.



Ok, now that is out there. I am NOT blogging about it right now.



Instead, I want to blog (i.e. brag) about my kids. You don't have to read it if you don't want to, but I am going to write it because this is my blog and I can. And I really only want to say one thing about each kid and then I will be done.



My two year old learns new things constantly, so we really have to be careful what we say and do around him. I keep gum in the desk drawer and my 6 year old was asking for a piece. As I gave her a piece, Jedrek (the two year old) asked for some gum as well (it came out as "dum," but we were smart enough to figure out what he wanted.) Well, he would simply swallow any gum he was given, so instead I distracted him by pulling out several coins and giving him a bank to play with by putting the coins through the slot. Now he often opens the drawer and pulls out "gum" (money) to play with. It is just too cute to correct.

The six year old has just completed her reading lesson book "Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons." The next day she started reading chapter books. Specifically, she wants books with many, many words and NO pictures. I don't think she is completely understanding that reading level, however, because when I ask her what the book is about, she gives answers like "Well, there is this boy and he has a brother whose name is Justin, but the rest is just too hard to explain!"

And my ten year old. This is a boy with perseverance (and a memory!). When he was just 5 years old and began receiving an allowance for the first time ($1.00 per week), he saved his complete allowance for 20 weeks in order to buy a metal detector he had been wanting. So, it should be no surprise to us that when we went to the local fair last year and saw exhibits of legos, and we just happened to mention that "maybe next year you could build something for the fair" that this suggestion would stick with him. This June he began building a lego house. With many hours of building and remodeling (two stories went to three stories, a garage was added, various dormers and finally a balcony), his house was finished well in time for entering it into the fair. So, with all that thinking, planning and hard work, it was nice to see that my son reaped the reward (literally) of receiving a first place ribbon for his work.

Ok, that's all. It wasn't so bad, was it? It was actually kind of cute, right? Anyway, in order to get back into this blog, I knew I had to do something that I thought was fun, so thanks for putting up with that. So I guess I'm back. I can't guarantee anything because of my continually crazy life, but I am going to try to blog a little more consistently. The next time I might write about my garden, or cooking, or cleaning and how good it makes me feel when things are in order, or homeschooling and why our family continues to choose to do this in spite of (or actually because of) the craziness of our lives, or maybe, just maybe I will blog about some of the "yuck" that seems to keep happening to us. That takes more energy, though, so don't count on it anytime soon. Thanks for checking back in!

Christmas in July...sort of

Our family just came home from celebrating Christmas with family.

On the beach.

In December. (yeah, I know that's when Christmas usually is...just go with me here).

That was a huge first for us. I believe it was my first winter trip to the beach and for sure was the first time our family was on the beach for Christmas. It was rather strange and surreal. I mean, I am from Kansas. Growing up, the closest ocean was hundreds of miles away. I did not even SEE the Atlantic Ocean until I was in college. So, Christmas on the beach...weird. Palm trees decorated with Christmas lights.

Our family (Wayne's side) is a bit spread out, to say the least, so it has been a while since we have been able to get together to celebrate a holiday. So, back in July, we started planning for Christmas. We decided to head to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, as it was as good a place as any. We had family there from from Indiana, Florida, Arkansas and North Carolina (and, of course, Virginia). We stayed in a wonderful, luxurious (and thankfully, cheap, due to the off-season pricing) resort that was on the beach.

We were on the 8th floor and this is the view from our room.

The kids had fun even if the water was a little cold.

Uncle Drew and Aunt Lena brought a metal detector they had bought from a friend for just $3.00. They took it to the beach and I watched as the kids found a penny. I said "Well, now your metal detector only cost $2.99." Drew said "Actually, now it cost $3.01." (Figure that one out)

Santa even found us (or at least the kids stockings hanging on the closet doors), so we had some fun opening gifts on Christmas morning.

We were only missing one sister, Susan, from Wayne's family. It turned out to be a really fun week, even though it didn't really feel like Christmas. The trade-off was being able to be with family and reconnect while soaking up some rays.

On the beach.

For Christmas.

In December.

Or was it July?

Peppernuts...Part II An Update

So, yesterday when I wrote about how much I hate cutting the peppernuts I should have mentioned that last year a friend of mine came over to help us make peppernuts (her first time, I think).

This is significant because last fall was a difficult time for our family. Our baby son, Jedrek, had been diagnosed with liver cancer (hepatoblastoma) and had undergone chemotherapy and surgery. When the Christmas season came around he had just finished treatment. In fact, the day before last year's peppernuts were made we had been to the hospital for Jedrek's central line (a line that is placed directly into a vein by the heart and is used to draw blood and deliver medications) to be removed. This was a big landmark in the treatment process, yet we were still cautious in many ways.

Anyway, I was explaining to my friend how important it was to cut the peppernuts small. It took a few tries and examples for her to understand my definition of the word "small." As she got into it, though, she commented how it was almost "meditative" work to be so detailed with cookie making. At the time I just smiled...she didn't have a nursing 7 month old demanding her attention. Yesterday I just laughed thinking about how "non-mediative" it was to try to cut sticky peppernuts with 2 kids and a husband helping, fighting, and making noise while the now 19 month old ran around finding pencils and pens and things to draw on (like walls, furniture, my jeans, etc).

Here is a tray of last year's peppernuts:

Fast forward to today. It was a strange-weather day as it started out warm and got colder and more rainy as the day progressed. By 2:30 this afternoon it was dark and looked like evening had come. I had just finished my afternoon coffee and snack and put down my book, trying to decide what project I had energy for next. My 1 and 5 year old were asleep and my 9 year old was playing quietly in his room. I had mixed up some peppernut dough that morning that was in the fridge, so I decided I could at least cut a couple of trays worth while it was so quiet.

Well, I don't know what it was...the weather, the quiet house, the smells, or the fact that I had mixed up the only peppernut recipe that I LOVE and no one else in my family cares for, but I think I reached that "meditative" state. For a few minutes. It was peaceful, at least, and the cookie dough was not very sticky. So I take back what I said yesterday about "hating" the cutting part. I guess it just takes the right atmosphere...and the right dough!

Before I knew it, my loving husband was home from work and I had finished the peppernuts...an entire gallon...by myself!

Now on to the eating!

Peppernuts...a Family Tradition

The Christmas season is a great time for me to think about all the "traditional" family activities I grew up with.

Here is one that we do every year...peppernuts. These are little, tiny, miniscule cookies that come from my Russian-Mennonite background. There are several recipes to use, some have nuts, some don't, some have anise flavoring, some don't, some are made to be hard and some are made to be soft. The only truly important thing is that they are all made to be SMALL. The smaller, the better. Sometimes so small that you can hardly see them on the tray. I am not kidding!

The trouble with this is that it is not something I enjoy. I do enjoy mixing the dough, rolling out the "snakes" for cutting, and taking the cookies off the trays after they are baked. However, I DO NOT like to cut them. They stick to the knife, stick to the cutting board, stick to my fingers, you get the idea.

Luckily, this year we had 4 cutters in our family (yes, we decided Jedrek needed to wait another year to use a knife...call us overprotective), so the process went much faster.

These cookies are actually MONSTROUS when compared my family's normal expectations. I am using the "I have a 1 year old who pulls at my legs anytime I am cooking and not paying enough attention to him" excuse this year.Still, after all was said and done this was all that we had. (I burned 2 batches that had to be thrown away and I froze some for later...don't tell my family because they don't know)

All of the cookies you see in this jar, however, are already gone...

One year when Wayne and I were dating, we, along with my dad, made a 5 gallon bucket full of peppernuts. Yes, that's right, a 5 gallon bucket full of teeny, tiny, miniscule cookies.

The good thing is that you can eat a dozen (or two or three) without feeling guilty!

SHHHHH!!!! It's sleeping!!!!

No, I'm not talking about the baby...I'm talking about the canning stove!

See how peaceful it looks just resting so comfortably! Now, please, please, read this post very, very quietly and DO NOT wake it up! It took me so long to get it to finally go to sleep!

I bought two bushels of apples last week that my good friend Jennifer so generously delivered to our door. Since then I have been peeling, coreing, slicing, drying and canning apples. And eating. The kids are getting tired of the same old answer to their pleas of "Can I have a snack?" "The apples are in the garage...help yourself!"

Here's the process, so wonderfully documented in pictures by my eldest boy:

First, put the apple on the wonderful peeler, corer, slicer thingy.

Then, spin it a few times.
And finally, put them on the trays for drying.
A few hours later we have wonderful, delicious dried apples! (I don't have a picture because we ate them too fast...17 apples consumed by 4 people in one weekend). After two or three dryers-full that got eaten as fast as they were made, I got smart and started putting them directly into bags into the freezer to save for the winter. Or at least until next week.

I used the same process (minus the drying) to cut up the apples and then canned them with some sugary, cinamonny yummy sauce to use later in pies, crisps, on top of ice cream, whatever.

I ended up with 14 quarts of apple pie filling and now I am officially DONE canning until next year! Whew!

Here is some of the summer's bounty saved up for the winter days.

And here is the freezer:Some of what we have stored are:

• Apples (sauce, pie filling, dried)
• Blueberries (frozen, dried)
• Strawberries (frozen)
• Mulberries (frozen)
• Rhubarb (frozen)
• Pesto
• Corn
• Tomatoes (dried, sauce, whole, diced, mild salsa, cilantro salsa, and Shannon's Smokin' Salsa, bruchetta)
• Pickles (dill, quick sweet, 14 day sweet, bread and butter)
• Beets (pickled)
• Green beans (an entire story in itself)
• Peaches (jam, sliced)
• Apricots (jam, sliced)
• Peppers (frozen)
• Red beans (still dry)

OK, so I just exhausted myself thinking about all that work. I'm just hoping that canning stove takes a really, really long nap! I'm sure I'll be looking forward to seeing it again next summer!

Laundry musings

I just brought in the diapers I washed today. It was a gorgeous, sunny fall day...perfect for drying diapers on the line. And yes, it is Sunday. I figure God will forgive me for doing work on "the Lord's day" if it means helping the environment!


Of all the household chores that I do during a week, my absolute favorite, by far, is hanging out laundry! There is something about taking out all those clean, wet clothes and putting them on the line knowing that the sun and wind will do the rest.





However, of all the household chores that I do during a week, my least favorite, by far, is bringing in and putting away laundry. Yes, I would rather clean the toilet than bring in laundry and put it away. It is just so tedious, sorting out the socks and underwear, putting that wash rags in the kitchen, the towels and washclothes in the linen closet and the rags in the laundry room. AHHHH! Just thinking about all that sorting and putting away makes me crazy.



I do own a dryer. I use it in December, January and February when the high temperature of the day is not going to reach 40 for several days in a row. I also use it for emergencies (read: sick children in the middle of the night). I also occasionally use it as a "lazy" way to iron clothes...just put a wet cloth in with the wrinkled shirt for a couple of minutes and it comes out great!



I am very thankful I have a dryer.



However, I try to make a committment to myself to hang out all my laundry whenever possible. That means that if I am busy for several days in a row, or if there is rain or other unusual circumstances, I have to work very hard to catch up on the days I am home and the weather is nice. That means that in the last 4 days I have done 11 loads of laundry. This did not include any sheets or unusual items. I washed as much as my laundry lines hold (6 lines, each approximately 20 feet long) each day for 4 days straight. Ok, the lines are each exactly 23 feet long, my loving husband just went out to measure them. And just so you don't call me a liar (I know you were thinking about it!), the above picture was taken in March, 2007, of our OLD laundry line before my loving husband put in a new laundry line with the above mentioned measurements. And the clothes hanging were the baby clothes being washed and dried in anticipation for our newborn who would be born the next month.

A while back a friend told me that the dryer's have no "effeciency" rating when it comes to electrical use because there is nothing "effecient" about a dryer. I don't know if this is really true (I kind of doubt it), but it did make me think. There is nothing a dryer does that would not happen naturally. The same thing is true of drying hair with a blowdryer. If you are using a dryer simply to make your hair dry (as opposed to using it as a hair-styling tool), it is completely ineffecient. It takes my hair about 3 hours to fully dry on its own. I try to plan my hair washing at a time of the day that I know I will have time for it to dry before I must go out, or the night before. I do use a hairdryer occasionally, especially on very cold days, but I do try to limit it.

And since I am on the topic of drying things, what about using papertowels to dry our hands after washing them in a public bathroom. I mean, really, how long does it take for the water to naturally evaporate off our hands? I do use a papertowel when I am carrying something with me that I need to pick up and not get wet, such as a book or paper, but I try to think about it prior to automatically pulling out another paper towel and then putting it in the waste basket to be taken to the dump.

Before you think me to be "holier than thou," however, let me tell you that I have a car that I use, even for trips to the grocery store that is less than 1/2 mile away, when I take a shower, I turn the water on really hot and just stand there for a while (like my own personal sauna), and every day I make other choices that are not so good for our world. So, I guess hanging out the laundry is just one way to make up for what I don't do to help the environment.

There's always room for improvement!